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January 9, 2015

Let There Be Light!

From the Photobucket archives:

How Many Church Members To Change a Light Bulb?

CHARISMATIC: Only one. Hands already in the air.

PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.

BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

AMISH: What's a light bulb?

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: None. The lights are on, but no one's home.

MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it

January 7, 2015

Cliff Clavin's Theory on Beer

Sesame Seed Sandwich

On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonald's Big Mac bun.


January 6, 2015

Lot of Lead in Your Pencil

A typical lead pencil can draw a line that is thirty-five miles long.





January 5, 2015

rallentando



rallentando\ rah-luhn-TAHN-doh; It. rahl-len-TAHN-daw \ , adjective

1. slackening; becoming slower (used as a musical direction).


As I grow older, I'm more prone to rallentando.

I still like music, though.