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August 18, 2008

Senior Dress Code

From the email archives:



Many of us 'Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

3 comments:

garazon said...

Thongs and depends :o)
now theres an image planted in my brain I wont be able to remove anytime soon LOL what a sight!

Alison said...

Oh that list is so funny !
It does take me longer now to decide what to wear when I go out , I think maybe the arabs have the right idea with all those yashmaks and full body covers leaving only the eyes exposed, well for me they would be ideal to hide all the parts that seemed to have to wreck and ruin lol,

Mike said...

Here a few weeks ago I gave my buddy - who is only a year younger than me - a cap I had bought on sale.

I've seen him a dozen times since then, but he's never worn it and I asked what he had done with it.

"Oh, I'm not gonna wear that, sorry." he informed me. When I asked him why, he told me his daughter and son-in-law had informed him it was an "Old man's cap" because it had a high crown.

Good grief. Caps like that are better than the others because they, at least, allow some air to circulate around one's covered head. I guess he'd rather have sweat running in his eyes, just as long as he's stylish!

I bought a couple of those "golfing hats" here a while back, and almost always grin when I wear them because I call them my "old man hats".

It's like I told my friend..."Hell, you ARE an old man, nothing you wear is going to change that!"

I wear sneakers a lot, not because they're something young people wear, but because they're comfortable.

I dress for myself in casual situations, not for anyone else.