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September 16, 2012

A Shining Moment

After getting so many comments on my new profile pic on Facebook, it made me stop and think when I started losing my hair. I know that I would've eventually gone bald, but my back surgery in the late 80's hastened the acceleration of my receding hairline. I also noticed that I lost several inches of hairline after my last surgery, the one for kidney stones.  Since I'm not fond of my head looking like the top of a huge egg in a tiny nest, I've started shearing it with an electric razor and sometimes I shave it.  (and then my head looks like a huge egg resting on my shoulders)

I was dating a crazy woman shortly after my first surgery and one day we were sitting on her couch watching TV. A commercial came on and I turned and leered at her.

"Don't do that!" she practically screamed at me.

"Why not?" I asked.

"You look just like Jack Nicholson in that scene from "The Shining!  Horrible!"



Wow, I thought. I just got insulted. She was good at that, though. In fact, that was her best trait.  She couldn't cook worth a damn, she was a horrible mother, a bad driver who thought she was an excellent one, only wanted to talk about herself and had a temper that was triggered by the most innocent of incidents;  looking back, I think she fit the profile of a psychopath. I could go on about what was wrong with her, but won't.  I must have been nuts to have stayed around her as long as I had.

"Well, 'Here's Johnny!' " I replied with a toothy grin, making her protest again.  She pushed me away as if she was genuinely afraid. Wow.  She thinks I'M crazy.  I sat quietly for a few seconds, then said:

"Well, if you had blonde hair, you'd look like Glenn Close."

"Oh really?" she said, pleased...pleased for a moment, until I said:

"Yeah...like she was in Fatal Attraction".

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