Say What?

From the email archives:

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"Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine."
- Radio news announcer

"All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium."
- Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster

"We'll be back with the recrap after this message."
- Ralph Kiner, Mets sportscaster

"In the hunt to buy the San Francisco Giants was George Shinn, owner of the Charlotte Harlots." - Ralph Kiner, Mets broadcaster

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
- Ray Forsythe, Clemson recruit, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"While sitting in a tavern, someone hit my nose from behind."
- reason given for insurance claim

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"Mattie's Restaurant and Yogurt Palace, 'An alternative to Good Eating'"
- Restaurant Business Card from Decatur, Texas

"I didn't accept it. I received it."
- Richard Allen, National Security Adviser to former President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.

"Mr. Milosevic has to be careful. The calendar is ticking."
- Richard Haas, NBC News consultant