January 31, 2015
January 30, 2015
January 29, 2015
January 27, 2015
January 26, 2015
January 25, 2015
January 24, 2015
January 23, 2015
January 22, 2015
Senseless Platypus
A human male does the same thing while changing a dirty diaper.
January 21, 2015
January 20, 2015
Lightning vs The Sun
Lightning is five times hotter than the sun.
Yes, it's true. A bolt of lightning can reach temperatures of roughly 30,000 kelvins (53,540 degrees Fahrenheit), while the surface of the sun is 6,000 kelvins (10,340 degrees Fahrenheit).
January 19, 2015
B & M
You can't say B or M without both of your lips touching.
That might explain why ventriloquists don't do a lot of bathroom humor.
That might explain why ventriloquists don't do a lot of bathroom humor.
Most Beautiful Eyes in the World
NOTE: Noticed the video had been taken down, so I found another one. Not sure if it's the same one uploaded by someone else, but it's similar...I think. I'm not sure because the original post was from nearly five years ago, 3/13/10. I'm "bumping" this because of a similar recent post: The Eyeball Test.
I love women's eyes; they're almost always the female asset that first catches my eye.
(Unless they're not looking, then I glance at their legs.)
While I went back to school a few years ago, I had a job in a liquor store. During slow times there wasn't much to do (actually, if I didn't feel like doing anything, there was ALWAYS something to do, but I drew the line at doing it all) I worked the evening shift and since my boss liked to hire young, single women and didn't much care about any other qualifications, I generally had to relieve people I wasn't fond of working with.
If I grew tired of watching TV during the lulls, I would do most anything to entertain myself. I was reading a woman's magazine and noticed the advert model's beautiful eyes. I remembered a poster I had seen of nothing but eyes, so I thought I'd make something similar, cutting out the parts of the magazines and gluing them onto some stiff white paper.
I got magazines from my mom, some from the laundry and got regular donations from the beauty shop next door. I took my work-in-progress home with me so it wouldn't accidentally get thrown away.(or discarded on purpose, knowing these sorry co-workers I was around) One afternoon when I got there, the girl jumped on me, asking why I was cutting up the magazines before she had a chance to read them. I told her they were mine to do with as I wished. She was taken aback; I'd never been so "rude" to her before.
She then demanded to know what I was snipping out of the magazines. Not bothering to take the time to explain what I was doing, I told her in my best Jack Nicholson "Shining" voice:
"I'm cutting the eyes out of the women's faces."
The look on her face was priceless; pure horror and disgust, as if I'd jumped up on the table and peed in the wedding punch.
She left right away, thank goodness. She quit a couple of weeks later, and that was even better.
January 17, 2015
January 16, 2015
The Eyeball Test
I made my daily visit to StartSampling, a site I've been a member of since before I owned a computer. (I joined using a library computer) I get points that can be redeemed for prizes; points for visiting each day and for the month, rating recipes, solving puzzles and trivia plus participating in the daily poll. Today's was about eye color; here are the results:
My eyes are brown (please, no jokes about why that is, I've heard them all) but it was the "Other" results that puzzled me.
It made me go do a little bit of reading about it and Wikipedia mentioned those colors, plus red, violet and amber. I learn something new every day. Usually.
The gray eye results reminded me of a woman I used to date; a pretty brunette with the most striking blue eyes. It wasn't until the next morning after our first night together that I saw her putting in contacts - her eyes weren't blue, but a cold, steely gray. Now, I've seen women with gray eyes before and didn't think much of it other than it being a little unusual, but I came to find out this woman's eyes matched her soul - cold, steely and gray.
I once met a woman (introduced by mutual friends) and after talking to her for a few minutes, she turned away and asked "What color are my eyes?" I knew what she was doing, that was from some movie or maybe a woman's magazine that said that would be a test of how much the man was paying attention to her face and not the rest of her body.
"Uh....blue, kinda." I replied. "Wrong!" she said, her face still averted. "Well, sort of a bluish-green, maybe." I answered. I continued on what I knew was a trap question and a way-wrong answer. "Maybe some brown flecks?" "Wrong again!" she declared. "They're hazel!" and turned back to me, widening her eyes to show me the color.
Sheesh, I'm a guy and I'm not really an expert on colors anyway. They still looked bluish-green with brown flecks to me. Kinda, I dunno.
I didn't try to pursue a relationship with her because I hadn't passed "the eyeball test". That was OK, because I didn't really like what I had seen, anyway, not to mention her offending the rest of my senses.
My eyes are brown (please, no jokes about why that is, I've heard them all) but it was the "Other" results that puzzled me.
It made me go do a little bit of reading about it and Wikipedia mentioned those colors, plus red, violet and amber. I learn something new every day. Usually.
The gray eye results reminded me of a woman I used to date; a pretty brunette with the most striking blue eyes. It wasn't until the next morning after our first night together that I saw her putting in contacts - her eyes weren't blue, but a cold, steely gray. Now, I've seen women with gray eyes before and didn't think much of it other than it being a little unusual, but I came to find out this woman's eyes matched her soul - cold, steely and gray.
I once met a woman (introduced by mutual friends) and after talking to her for a few minutes, she turned away and asked "What color are my eyes?" I knew what she was doing, that was from some movie or maybe a woman's magazine that said that would be a test of how much the man was paying attention to her face and not the rest of her body.
"Uh....blue, kinda." I replied. "Wrong!" she said, her face still averted. "Well, sort of a bluish-green, maybe." I answered. I continued on what I knew was a trap question and a way-wrong answer. "Maybe some brown flecks?" "Wrong again!" she declared. "They're hazel!" and turned back to me, widening her eyes to show me the color.
Sheesh, I'm a guy and I'm not really an expert on colors anyway. They still looked bluish-green with brown flecks to me. Kinda, I dunno.
I didn't try to pursue a relationship with her because I hadn't passed "the eyeball test". That was OK, because I didn't really like what I had seen, anyway, not to mention her offending the rest of my senses.
January 15, 2015
Bite Me!
A mosquito's saliva acts as an anesthetic so when you usually don't notice when one is biting you.
You Really Don't
You really don't have to be so happy about it.
This was the page I got after clicking on a free sample link.
This was the page I got after clicking on a free sample link.
January 14, 2015
January 13, 2015
January 12, 2015
January 11, 2015
Fancy Fiddle Fact
A violin contains 70 or more different pieces of wood.
Beyond the Veil - Lindsey Stirling
Thank You Cowboys!
Even though your season ended on a disappointing note, it was still a success by nearly any reasonable measure. I'll admit I didn't have much hope for this season, thinking it might very well be worse than last year's 8-8 record and in fact, I thought the team would be lucky to get to that mark and figured that it would be more along the lines of 4-12, especially after that horrible pre-season and the first regular season loss to San Francisco.
Here's hoping the 'Boys can sign the free agents they really need and that the draft will be a good one. Thanks for such a good season and I'm already looking forward to next year!
How 'bout them Cowboys!
Here's hoping the 'Boys can sign the free agents they really need and that the draft will be a good one. Thanks for such a good season and I'm already looking forward to next year!
How 'bout them Cowboys!
FEAR THE STAR
January 10, 2015
January 9, 2015
Let There Be Light!
From the 
archives:
archives:
How Many Church Members To Change a Light Bulb?
CHARISMATIC: Only one. Hands already in the air.
PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
AMISH: What's a light bulb?
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: None. The lights are on, but no one's home.
MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it
PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
AMISH: What's a light bulb?
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: None. The lights are on, but no one's home.
MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it
January 8, 2015
January 7, 2015
January 6, 2015
January 5, 2015
rallentando
rallentando\ rah-luhn-TAHN-doh; It. rahl-len-TAHN-daw \ , adjective
1. slackening; becoming slower (used as a musical direction).
As I grow older, I'm more prone to rallentando.
I still like music, though.
January 4, 2015
Limited Edition - Lisa Gail
OK, it's been a while since I last tortured my loyal readers and I'm feeling particularly sadistic this morning...so here goes.
Looks like she's dropped her last name or maybe she got divorced...whatever the reason, I simply don't care.
Looks like she's dropped her last name or maybe she got divorced...whatever the reason, I simply don't care.
January 3, 2015
January 2, 2015
January 1, 2015
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
