Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
July 1, 2016
Sharknado 4
Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens is set to open at the end of this month.
I'm thinkin' it's GOTTA be good.
Why do I think that, you ask?
It has Gary Busey in it, that's why.
I'm thinkin' it's GOTTA be good.
Why do I think that, you ask?
It has Gary Busey in it, that's why.
Jewish Drivers
I was just visiting a forum I frequent and while the purpose of the site is about lotteries and not cars, threads often get side-tracked. (OFTEN: just last night I was reading a thread in a Cowboys forum and for some reason the discussion turned to Free Will. Good Grief)
The topic was "What would be the first thing you'd buy after winning the lottery?" and when one member said he'd replace his old pickup that has 469,000 miles on it, some one asked him how he had managed that and after that, the thread was hijacked.
I didn't include all of the truck's various mechanical problems in the screen shot of the reply, but it was a typo/misspelling that made me laugh.
The topic was "What would be the first thing you'd buy after winning the lottery?" and when one member said he'd replace his old pickup that has 469,000 miles on it, some one asked him how he had managed that and after that, the thread was hijacked.
I didn't include all of the truck's various mechanical problems in the screen shot of the reply, but it was a typo/misspelling that made me laugh.
I've never known Jewish drivers to be all that reckless or hard on vehicles, but if you say so....
June 5, 2016
The McFarthest Spot
What's so special about this place in S. Dakota?
According to Atlas Obscura, it is the McFarthest Spot -the farthest you can be in the continental US from a McDonald's location.
According to Atlas Obscura, it is the McFarthest Spot -the farthest you can be in the continental US from a McDonald's location.
From the website:
Geographically speaking, in the lower 48 United States it is impossible to get farther away from a McDonald's restaurant than this location in South Dakota. From the McFarthest Spot it would take 145 miles driving (only 120 miles as the crow flies) before a visitor could devour their next two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
June 1, 2016
Bottoms Up!
From the 
archives:
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey, now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there?"
archives:A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey, now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there?"
May 29, 2016
My Bing Birthday
My sister sent me a card and an Amazon gift card and some of my Facebook friends wished me a Happy Birthday...but only after my sis posted a birthday message. (I don't have my birthday listed) I've also received birthday wishes from various newsletters and a few coupons in the mail from companies such as American Spirit and Black & Mild. I'm pretty sure tobacco companies aren't concerned about me having MORE birthdays, y'know?
I opened up Bing early this a.m. to finish up this month's searches to get points for my regular $5 Amazon Gift Card, a great prize for reading and searching online, something I'd do for free anyway, and I saw this, pretty cool:
I clicked the "Make a Wish" link and got this:
I hope my wish comes true because I wished I'd win the lottery. I DID win $8 on last night's Powerball drawing, but I'm hopin' for a little more.
A few tens of millions more, actually.
I opened up Bing early this a.m. to finish up this month's searches to get points for my regular $5 Amazon Gift Card, a great prize for reading and searching online, something I'd do for free anyway, and I saw this, pretty cool:
I clicked the "Make a Wish" link and got this:
I hope my wish comes true because I wished I'd win the lottery. I DID win $8 on last night's Powerball drawing, but I'm hopin' for a little more.
A few tens of millions more, actually.
May 17, 2016
May 2, 2016
April 22, 2016
Ball
Play Ball!
This is one of those games that is simple, yet maddeningly frustrating.
Using your cursor that's "tethered" to the ball, flick it up and click on it and the ball will change colors.
Easier said than done, and not easy to do several times in a row.
A friend of mine sent me the link to this game and it reminded me of when I had an MSN Group that found these types of games, zipped them up with the page and instructions, even included screenshots to promote them.
(It - the group - was a resounding failure, but that's another story)
When I'd find a game like this, I would write the webmaster, tell him what I wanted to do, ask his permission to redistribute his game. More often than not, they'd give permission, sometimes stipulating certain things such as what websites were prohibited from using the games.
I liked this game, so I "dug" the shockwave file out of my Temporary Internet Folder and made my own page so I can play it anytime I like.
I wondered if the site had more games, so I clicked on over to the index page, found out it was a forum for techie types, no other links to other games or cool things.
I did see this graphic and it made me literally lmao:
April 21, 2016
April 7, 2016
April 1, 2016
March 10, 2016
Don't Forget My Bum!
From one of my favorite YouTube channels, Gotcha The Cockatoo. Gotcha is a crazy, funny, loud and lovable 11 year old Moluccan Cockatoo, a rescue from his previous home where he was abandoned, neglected and mistreated.
February 28, 2016
February 27, 2016
February 22, 2016
Family?
One of these doesn't fit with the others.
Synopsis: A world traveling ghost hunter mysteriously disappears leaving everything to his niece; who accidentally releases a horde of angry spirits, imprisoned in liquor bottles, during her Fourth of July party
Distiller on IMDb.
Not my cuppa, but you might like it. Not sure it's family fare, though.
It's got booze in it, after all.
Synopsis: A world traveling ghost hunter mysteriously disappears leaving everything to his niece; who accidentally releases a horde of angry spirits, imprisoned in liquor bottles, during her Fourth of July party
Distiller on IMDb.
Not my cuppa, but you might like it. Not sure it's family fare, though.
It's got booze in it, after all.
February 17, 2016
February 13, 2016
Fwench Toast
Going through my Facebook pages feed, I noticed this on the Relish Magazine wall:
(click graphic for larger view)
Any mention of French toast always reminds me of a story told to me by a friend; he had met the friend of a woman I was dating at her house and because my date and I wanted some privacy, went home with her. (great friend!) The babysitter was there and the woman paid the young girl who was doing the sitting and after she was gone, went in to look in on her daughter asleep in her bedroom. After a few minutes, the woman came out and sat beside my friend who was waiting on the couch. One thing lead to another and...well, you get the drift, I hope.
My friend said he woke up the next morning to find the little girl standing by his side of the bed, silently staring at him, her hair mussed by sleep, a thumb stuck in her mouth and a grubby little blanket held in her other arm. They looked at each other for a while, then my friend asked: "What do you want?"
The little girl took her thumb out of her mouth and answered:
"Fwench toast."
(click graphic for larger view)
Any mention of French toast always reminds me of a story told to me by a friend; he had met the friend of a woman I was dating at her house and because my date and I wanted some privacy, went home with her. (great friend!) The babysitter was there and the woman paid the young girl who was doing the sitting and after she was gone, went in to look in on her daughter asleep in her bedroom. After a few minutes, the woman came out and sat beside my friend who was waiting on the couch. One thing lead to another and...well, you get the drift, I hope.
My friend said he woke up the next morning to find the little girl standing by his side of the bed, silently staring at him, her hair mussed by sleep, a thumb stuck in her mouth and a grubby little blanket held in her other arm. They looked at each other for a while, then my friend asked: "What do you want?"
The little girl took her thumb out of her mouth and answered:
"Fwench toast."
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