Tape Tongue

Ear Wiggling

From the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders website:

Secret Talents: Justine Phillips

---

Pffft, I can wiggle my big ol' LBJ ears much better than that. I can wiggle my ears so rapidly that, if I've got a good headwind and lean into the hearty Panhandle breeze plus flap my arms some, I can lift off the ground a little bit.

If you look at the menu below the vid, there are a few other "talents" demonstrated, such as touching tongue to nose, wiggling eyes and juggling.

I can juggle too, and can spell "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I".

That's probably enough braggin'.

A Message from the Beej

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Witches in Macbeth William Shakespeare

Big Hits on a Little Topic

Since I got the Feedjit feed, it's been fun to see the various places and people that find this blog. There have been hits from all over the world and quite a few states here in the U.S.

Google has provided the most fascinating statistics, though. This blog has had recent activity from being listed in the search engine for various news articles I've cited and commented upon, but by and far the largest amt. of hits have been for the Gay Irish Dwarfs article I wrote. We're up close to the top for those search terms: Gay+Irish+Dwarfs.

Since my article was tongue-in-cheek and nothing to do with any sort of fetish, I'm sure most of the visitors are disappointed. (I've never gone out with a dwarf, but I have been told by some of my dates that I was a mental midget)

I'm not quite sure what to think about it all. Sure, I'm glad for the hits, but I also wouldn't want anyone to think that this is some sort of "kinky" or fetish-type blog. (although I HAVE been thinking about writing something about my fondness for pantyhose...)

Recently this blog got a hit to an article I wrote: "My Sister's Feet", and following the entry URL, found out that the visitor had come from a Google search "I+Love+My+Sister's+Feet".

Hey, I'm no prude, each to his own, but...that's just a little TOO kinky for me.

Maybe I need to be a little more careful how I title my posts?

ZipHolder

ZipHolder

Prevents your zipper from accidentally coming open.

No more embarrassing exposure!



Only 3.99€ per package!
(1.2€ for delivery)

---

3.99 GBP = 5.83772 USD

Wish I had invented this, not only to make money but for my own personal use.

There are times I need one that attaches to my tongue.

Maybe I could invent something that keeps guys from zipping up something that really hurts to be zipped up.

Blueberries with Wings

When I first started this blog, I thought it would be fun to do "reviews" of my favorite eating establishments here in town. The reviews would be tongue-in-cheek, because if I didn't like the food, I wouldn't eat at them.

When talking about places to eat in Pampa, the logical place to begin would be at the Coney Island. It's a local icon and the first place most college students on break or former residents head when they return to visit.



Local legend maintains that Woody Guthrie worked there (before it was the Coney) and performed and wrote some of his most famous songs there. The Gikas brothers owned it until a few years ago, and were famous for their ill tempers and public lambasting of the waitresses when they screwed up an order. (no tickets were written, the orders were yelled out by the waitresses and woe be unto the poor woman who didn't follow their strict instructions)

As was said, it's changed hands, and the best thing about the new ownership is that it's ever so much cleaner than it was with the previous owners. (they were too busy yelling to clean the bathroom and kitchen, I guess)

Some people rave about the food, but I believe it's no worse, no better than most any other place of its type. They serve a limited menu: hamburgers, hot dogs (coneys), chili and stew, but I'll stipulate that the pies are among the best I've ever sampled. (chocolate and lemon are my favorites)

I took my camera down there so I could take photos of my order, but I was too late to get my normal pick of pie and had to settle for what was left. I never had eaten the blueberry pie, so that's what I ordered.

I was served, and I arranged the food for my shot; nothing spectacular, but I would wager that anyone who has eaten there would recognize what I had: "two on one, deluxe ham" with the blueberry pie. (hey, I was HUNGRY!) Before I found out I was diabetic, it would've been a strawberry soda to drink, but now I settle for Diet Coke.



I snapped a few shots, decided they were good enough and started to chow down.

It wasn't until I got home and was wondering which of the photos were the best that I noticed something on my ham sandwich.



That was either a fly, or blueberries have wings.

Picked One - But I'm Not Picky

Your Hatred of Tofu Says You're Old-Fashioned

You are conventional and traditional. You don't feel a need to change what works. You are always ready to take a leap of faith. If something doesn't work, you will change! You dance through life, even when there isn't any music playing. You spice things up. You are good at getting people to let loose. You are the fun one in your group.

What Does Your Least Favorite Food Say About You?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

---

I had to pick one,so I chose tofu. I'm not a huge fan of the soybean product, but I will eat it. In fact, it's not bad in Chinese dishes, especially stir-fried w/ some slices of beef or chicken. It's not horrible on its own, just bland, like oatmeal with no sugar or cinnamon. (and I love oatmeal)

That's the trouble with some of these quizzes, the choices offered. In this quiz the choices were:

Tofu
Mayonnaise
Mushrooms
Fish
Broccoli
Chocolate

Now, my second choice for food I "hate" would have been mayonnaise. I prefer the similar salad dressing (such as Miracle Whip) because mayo is so rich. I will eat it, though, and don't "hate" it. I also love mushrooms, fish and broccoli...and I would probably really love a dish made with all three. As far hating chocolate?

What are you, nuts?

I really can't think of any food I hate.  Oh, I'm not fond of coconut, but love it in Mounds or Almond Joy candy.  What I really don't like is how it works its way in between my teeth.   I'm also not fond of pineapple, but that's because I O.D'd on brandied pineapple as a kid, plus I'm slightly allergic to it. (as I am kiwi fruit, which I used to love to eat.  Now it makes my throat itch, just like pineapple.)

I'll eat just about anything - mountain oysters (bull testicles), snake, even liver and onions.  I've had calamari before that didn't taste good, but I expect that was because it wasn't fresh, ditto for snails.  About the only things I can think of offhand that I bet I wouldn't like are eels and geoduck. Still, I'd certainly try them once. I've never had tongue, but I bet I'd like it. Shoot, I've always wanted to try some brains.(I wouldn't be too enthused if Hannibal Lecter was the cook, though.  I'd be afraid I'd be the next course)

No, I'm not picky. I'll even eat leftovers.

Senior Dress Code

From the email archives:

---

Many of us 'Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

Passion Purpura

Passion purpura - the medical term for a hickey.

Ever played that "either/or" game when you were a kid?  "Would you rather be blind or crippled?" or things like that.   I remember this one:

"Which is worse?  Going to kiss your grandma and she slips you the tongue...or a hickey on a hemorrhoid?"

Life Expectancy Calculators

via World Of Mysteries

1. Living to 100: Take this quiz, and then find out how you can lengthen your life expectancy by following the recommendations and tips offered by the calculator.
2. The Longevity Game: This fun quiz from Northwestern Mutual takes you through your lifestyle choices, and the image representing you waxes and wanes with your life expectancy.
3. Original Death Calculator: Find out when you are likely to die. Answering these questions about your history, genetics, lifestyle and habits can help you figure out when you are likely to kick the bucket.
4. The Death Clock: Answer very simple questions, and The Death Clock will return an exact date and time of your death. As for how accurate it is — who knows? Especially since it is based on your birth date, gender, BMI and whether or not you smoke. But it sure is fun.
5. Real Age: This life expectancy quiz asks you questions about how well you are maintaining your body. Your biological age may actually be younger than the age you are now. Of course, if you haven’t been taking care of yourself, your biological age could be higher — and your life expectancy shorter.
6. Death by Caffeine: Figure out how much caffeine it would take to kill you, based on your favorite caffeinated beverages or foods. Your life expectancy may not be longer than you can guzzle 56.31 cans of Monster Energy drink in one sitting.
7. The Booze Death Calculator: Figure out your life expectancy if you are out partying hard and binge drinking. Pick your alcoholic beverage of choice, and see how much of it would kill you.
8. NPC Life Expectancy Quiz: Read through this to determine how long you would survive in a video game. A fun look at life expectancy.
9. How Long Will I Live?: Answer questions about your current lifestyle, and then get a look at how long you are likely to live. Progress further in the test to get an analysis of your health risks and how you can improve you situation and your life expectancy.
10. Life expectancy calculator: MSN money offers you a calculator that takes into account your current lifestyle, as well as different stressors that might be part of your life, and looks at your family history and other factors.
11. Find Your Fate: This is another calculator that asks you more specific questions and attempts to pinpoint the possible date of your death. Interestingly, whether or not you brush or floss your teeth is on this quiz.
12. The Amazing Death Predictor: This is a tongue in cheek prediction that asks simple questions (some of which may not have to do with whether you are living a healthy lifestyle) and then generates a random death for you. Such as dying when you experience a mid-air collision when your personal jet pack malfunctions.
13. Will You See Your 80th Birthday?: Check to see whether or not the chances are good for you to live to the age of 80.
14. Death Date: Get a death date, and poke around for other interesting tidbits, such as what you will do in the afterlife, what you will come back as, should you reincarnate.
15. Life Expectancy Quiz: Pacific Life tests your knowledge of life expectancy facts, and helps you figure out whether you really are adequately providing your future.
16. Date of Death Calculator: This is a fun Facebook app that lets you figure out when you will die. You can compare with your friends and post to your profile.
17. Life Expectancy Calculator: You can learn your virtual age as well as your life expectancy. Learn about how you compare to others of your physical age, and whether you are actually younger or older than your current physical age suggests. The sliding scale allows you to more accurately assess your situation when answering questions.
18. Life Expectancy Calculator: What to figure your life expectancy yourself? This formula from the Minnesota State Retirement System can help you out.
19. Life Expectancy Calculator from MetLife: This calculator will help you determine your life expectancy — and help you figure out how you can outlive your money.
20. Life Expectancy Quiz: Answer these questions about your lifestyle, and find out whether or not you are as healthy as you think you are.
21. Death Risk Rankings: Compare life expectancy and death risk in different countries, and by other factors, such as gender. It’s an interesting death quiz that helps you compare your life expectancy to others’.
22. Life Expectancy Calculator/Life Expectancy Test: This quiz asks you questions about your personal life, financial life and lifestyle habits in an effort to help you figure out what your life expectancy is likely to be.
23. What is your biological age?: Find out whether you are aging more quickly than you should be. See what certain habits and lifestyle choices are doing for your biological age.
24. Increased Life Expectancy Calculator: Add years to your life by adjusting your fitness routine. This calculator helps you see how much you could gain by making changes with your exercise.
25. Life Expectancy Calculator: Your age, race, education and income can all affect your life expectancy. Here is a calculator that shows you how.

How to Gleek

From WikiHow, instructions on How to Gleek

This caught my eye because it seems to me to be a rare "talent"; my big sis can do it at will, and I can do it most of the time and quite often involuntarily when I yawn. Maybe it runs in families, I dunno but when I've done it for people it's almost always impressed them. To be honest, they were my friends and, like me, are easily amused.

---

Gleeking is the act of stimulating the saliva glands underneath your tongue into spitting a concentrated jet of pure saliva. Usually, it happens naturally when you yawn. It takes practice and concentration to gleek on purpose but these steps will help you learn how, so you can add it to your arsenal of body tricks.

More at:

How to Gleek