DISCLAIMER: Please Read!

Notice: We respectfully submit that Blogger has no responsibility for the content featured in this blog. Click here for more information and bookmark for future updates. Please read the language set forth herein carefully as it may affect, inhibit, modify or otherwise influence the interests or perceptions of any end user (hereinafter "you" or "end user") viewing the contents of this blog (also referred to herein and hereas as "Top of Texas Gazette" or "ToTG" "this Blogger blog" or "this blog" ). You, the viewer of the preceeding, the following and all content contained within thereof and complete, to whit, are hereby advised that Top of Texas Gazette does not depict a real event. It is intended for the sole, limited and express purpose of entertainment and to induce you, the viewer of this blog, to think of something else besides this rat race we call life. Therefore, and by reason of the foregoing, the producers, creators and distributors of this blog (also referrred to herein and hereas as "the managers of ToTG" or "the managers of this blog" or when we really get tired of typing that all out we will use "me.") hereby verily certify that the foregoing fictionalization and dramatization is not real. Furthermore, and without limitation now, since the beginning of time and without perpetuity, managers of this blog and anyone else who was involved in the creation of this blog assume no risks or liabilities stemming from or related to your ("the end user's") viewing of same and assume no liability for any damages that result directly or indirectly from mistakes, omissions, interruptions, deletions of files, viruses, errors, defects or any failures of performance, communications failures, theft, destruction or unauthorized access. The managers of ToTG will not be liable for any damages to your computer or anyone else's by viewing the contents of this blog. This blog is meant to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental or perhaps on purpose. Blog may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Correct change only. Void where prohibited. Keep hands and feet inside car at all time. Some assembly required. No wagering. List each check separately by bank number. Wait until full stop before exiting ride. Correct change only. ( We know we said that before, but it bears repeating) Guests must sign register. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Take only as directed. Harmful or fatal if swallowed. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Close spout after use. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with theAmerican Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. For home use only. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. Correct change only. (again, we simply cannot express just how important this is) No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This blog does not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of this station. Product may contain peanuts. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it and please...do NOT mention where you got it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. I think I already covered that last bit. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This blog is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor but pompous and repeated use of Latin words and/or phrases might seriously tick someone...me...off. Blog is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to repair them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Please do not be risqué at our risk. Risk your own risqué reading, really! Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from indrect moonlight, for that matter. Keep away from pets and small children. Keep-a-Way is strictly forbidden. Offer expires when all game pieces have been redeemed. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. You got to know when to fold 'em and know when to hold 'em. Read 'em and weep. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken. If you've read this far, you're nearly done. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this blog could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Blog is ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating blogs. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, acne, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earache, earthquake, toothache, hurricanes, himicanes and other Acts of God, neglect, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply. Let's Numanuma. God Bless Google. All your base belong to us.

This supersedes all previous notices.