thanatopsis

thanatopsis \than-uh-TOP-sis\ , noun;
1. A view or contemplation of death.
2. A poem (1817) by William Cullen Bryant.

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I don't contemplate death nearly as much as I do dying.

Then I'd Look Like the Beej

You Should Wear a Cat Mask

You are mysterious and tend to keep to yourself. You have your own inner world. You are freedom-loving first and foremost. You value your independence. You're widely known for your defiance and strength. You recover from setbacks nicely. You do and say whatever you feel like. People are sometimes shocked by your outrageous behavior.

What Mask Should You Wear on Halloween?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

Halloween Horrorscopes

From the email archives:

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HORRORSCOPES

Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more lovin’, right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, "Neverscore."

Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer": A vampire can only come in if you invite them.

Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn't it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of "Mellow Yellow"? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin'. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you'll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.

OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.

Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people's heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it's lucky I escaped without some horrible "Night of the Living Dead scenario." You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.

Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.

Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!

lummox

lummox \LUHM-uhks\ , noun;
1. A clumsy, stupid person.

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I'm a lummox; not all the time, but now 'n then.

Postively Privately Petrified

I was getting in my truck and going to the store when I first noticed it - a stinging in my groin. Now, I'm getting old and growing used to various aches and pains, so I didn't pay it much mind. Then later as I arrived at the store and got out of the truck, I felt the same pain again. It wasn't a usual pain, though, being more like being stuck with a pin right in my scrotum at the very bottom.

At first I thought "Oh no...getting another kidney stone!" but the pain wasn't like it had ever been with that. The pain went away, so I put it out of my head. When I got home, and was getting out of the truck again, the pain came back.

Now I was worried. It was such a sharp, acute pain and certainly not normal. I got in the house, dropped my pants and gingerly reached between my legs. I could feel a small bump through my underwear and when I felt of it with a little more force, the pain was almost unbearable. I felt faint, partly from the pain and partly from anxiety.

Thoughts raced though my head...what could it be? I hoped it was something "normal", like a boil or the like. I'd never had anything like that, but it was much better than my second guess - testicular cancer, or maybe a tumor on my scrotum. Heck, after thinking of those alternatives, I was semi-hoping it was a hernia.

I reached down in my underwear, my hands trembling a little bit, feeling like passing out from the worry. My fingers touched the hard knot and again came excruciating pain, worse than before. Gritting my teeth, I manipulated the small bump and then suddenly the pain transferred from my scrotum to my fingertips. I pulled my hand out of my underwear, expecting to see blood.

It was a sticker, just like the ones I pick off the Beej's tail. I'm going to have to be more careful when discarding them or make sure he doesn't make his bed in my dirty clothes. I guess it was something I missed when I did the last load of laundry. I get those damn things in my socks all the time, but this was the first time I found one in my underwear.

New Blogger Feature

Those of you who use Blogger might already know this, but Blogger has a new feature that I've just noticed.  The reason I just noticed is because after I publish a post, it takes me to a page that gives me the option of viewing the post or the blog.  (same thing, really, because viewing the blog will show you the post at the top, while viewing the post just shows the post)

There's also a small box giving hints or announcing a new feature that's just been rolled out. I noticed the other day that Blogger now offers up "stand-alone pages", which I'm thinking means we can put most any feature Blogger offers on a page and then link to it in the side nav-bar.  I'll have to go look, but I believe it says we can have up to 20 of these type pages.

I remember when it was announced that MSN Groups were closing and in a thread in Community Feedback people were discussing the alternatives. I had just discovered Blogger and mentioned that while it had pros and cons, I liked how one could add third-party content and embed videos and use some basic javascript.  One person replied to my post and said that blogs were too "egocentric".   Good grief, as if a person's Group wasn't egocentric? (some more than others, granted)

Anyway, I'm off to take a look at this new feature.  There are probably other new features I've missed.  There are a few I cannot use since I use a custom template, but I don't really care about at least one, having people "rate" my posts.   I don't think my ego could handle the criticism. -bg-

Skunk Calls

I've written twice about my recent skunk problem, first in This Really Stinks! and the second time in The Skunk is on the Porch; now I've got a brand new problem.

The skunk is still around, even though I've been a lot more careful about feeding the stray cat. I put her food up on a lawn chair, but she's so stupid, I have to pick her up and put her up there; she just can't seem to figure out that's where she needs to eat. Sometimes I put the food in the bed of my pickup and for some reason, she knows that's where she has to eat. I don't really like going out in the dark to my vehicle though, afraid that I'll step on the skunk.

Just the other night, I opened up the screen door to let the Beej out, but he hesitated and hissed; that's not unusual, because the stray cat is usually hanging around wanting to be fed. (I'm not sure she's pregnant, btw...I think she's eating so well she's gaining a LOT of weight) B despises her and hisses if she gets too close to him. He usually isn't any more aggressive than that, but I've seen him take a swat or two at her in annoyance. Anyway...I had the door cracked, not enough to let the Beej out because I didn't want a fight, but he wouldn't go out. He kept hissing and spitting and I figured the stray just wouldn't move out of his way.

Grabbing a flashlight, I shined it through the screen and saw it was the skunk! No wonder the Beej didn't want outside! I kicked the bottom of the screen door and the skunk hopped off the porch. I let B out and he wisely went off the other end of the porch.

Then, last night, I figured B would want in, so I called for him "Here kitty-kitty-kitty!". This usually brings him in if he's ready (if he's not, he just ignores me) It also has the effect of bringing the stray to the porch, too. I called a second time and here came my cat, followed by the stray....and then followed by the skunk! I guess it's become conditioned to the call, knowing that not soon after the cats come to the porch, there will most likely be food set out.

The outside food has also been an attraction to any stray dogs roaming the neighborhood, as well as other cats. I've been pricing BB and pellet guns at WalMart, thinking if I put the hurt on 'em, they'll never come back, but if they're hungry....

I really don't want to shoot the skunk (with a .22 and certainly not a BB gun -I'd rather have it dead than P.O.'d) and certainly don't want to call animal control, as they'll trap the skunk and the stray (where, odds are, she'll most likely be gassed w/ carbon monoxide from a running vehicle, the method used here in town) or even B. As I've mentioned, he keeps losing his tags and collar. I could bail him out of "jail", but that's something like 30 bucks or more. I have a couple of traps courtesy of my nephew who used to work for animal control in another town. I figure if I bait the trap, then put a large plastic bag over the entire trap -except for the door end - and then run a string to the gate latch, I'll be able to pick up the trap, take it outside of town and pulling the string, open up the door from a safe distance and letting the skunk go w/out harm.

I really need this skunk GONE; sooner or later, one of the cats will get sprayed. If it's the stray, no big deal, her tough luck. If it's the Beej, he'll have to stay outside until the stink wears off and that could be a long time. My main worry is rabies; skunks are notorious carriers of the deadly disease and that's all I need to have the infection spread to not only the stray, but to my beloved B and then perhaps to me!

Tea For Me

You Are English Breakfast Tea

You tend to have rather traditional views of love. You are faithful and willing to work hard in a relationship. Hard working and ambitious, you can survive in the most cut throat work environment. You're steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams. People can count on you. You take duties and responsibilities seriously.

What's Your Tea Type?

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Except for the first paragraph, none of the rest of the results are really true about me. English Breakfast tea really IS my favorite type of tea, though. I love Earl Grey tea, too.

Love tea, but never cared to add milk. That must be a British thing because I've never, ever known an American to add milk to tea.

The Upcoming Storm

I am subscribed to a Homesteading/Survival page on Facebook and for the most part, enjoy reading their tips about living a minimalist lifestyle. Some of the posts, however, make me SMH in amazement.

For example, in this post someone asks about what to do about the medicine that people need in order to survive.  The question goes on to mention the "upcoming storm". Quite a few people chimed in with some common sense solutions (but probably futile) and others responded with idiotic answers.

It wasn't this question that makes me shake my head so much, but the attitude of many in the forum.  There are many questions about the best preparations for the "storm" and far too many people answer with what sort of weapons one "needs" with specific requirements for ammo and such.  Others blather on about where to live and how much land one might need for various numbers of people and what sort of garden to have.  Others talk about how it's best to own gold and silver; they even advise to not purchase bullion, but invest in small denomination/sizes of coins.

Sorry, but if "it" does hit the fan and food is scarce, I wouldn't trade my last can of beans for all the gold in Fort Knox. (if there IS gold there) I'd think cigarettes and whiskey would be worth many times more than gold. I wouldn't swap one laying hen for a Krugerand. (OR the goose that lays golden eggs) A roll of toilet paper would be worth a lot more than a roll of silver coins. (paper money might have SOME use in case of "the storm", come to think of it)

It's something I've seen in common with these sort of people; it's almost like they're looking forward to the breakdown of society.  Sure, it's not a bad idea to be prepared for disasters, but I think most of these folks don't have a clue about just how bad it would be. 

Stop and think about it; if society breaks down completely, you're on your own.  There will be minimal medical care- only what you know how to do- no law enforcement, no electricity or other comforts of modern civilization.  One small cut on your hand could quickly turn into gangrene...appendicitis or other "minor" ailments mean you die a slow, agonizing death. An abscessed tooth could be your death warrant, an ACL tear could mean you're crippled forever. In my own case, if I broke my glasses I would pretty much be disabled. I certainly wouldn't be much use on sentry duty, couldn't be a hunter...I wouldn't even be much good as a gardener - couldn't tell the weeds from the vegetable plants. (I'd probably only be worth something by being boiled down for my lard!)

All right, let's say you are fortunate enough to have a hundred acres up in the mountains near...oh, let's say Denver.  If the "storm" hits, don't you think that as soon as the food runs out (I've read the average grocery store has a 3 day supply) people will soon be spilling out of that huge city, trying to survive just as you're trying to do?  There's no way you could defend your hideout forever.  Many people in the forum talk about hunting one's own game, but it's easy to see that even if you have managed to get off the beaten path, many, many others will be hungry and armed and competing for the same animals.

OK, let's assume you're prepared to the max; you've got your great survival cabin, plenty of freeze dried foods, a nice garden, your own water well, a generator and loads of weapons and ammo.  First of all, you can only shoot one gun at a time.  Even if everyone in your family becomes a soldier, you could quickly be overwhelmed by a force only a few times your numbers.  What about trying to fight people who have managed to obtain military weapons, such as automatic rifles, mortars, heavy machine guns?  How are you going to defend against REAL soldiers who have banded together and also want to survive and are using advanced tactics to assault your "fort"?  Your trusty, rusty .22 won't quite cut it against an armored personnel carrier.  One homemade Molotov cocktail could drive you out into the open.

What about your neighbors?  Are you going to take them in?  If so, your supplies and resources will immediately be reduced by a factor of how many you've taken in.  Or, do you turn them away and think of your own family first?  Fine, but you've just made enemies, your former friends who are thinking of THEIR families too.  You've just shown you care nothing about their welfare, why should they consider yours?  A desperate and hungry man will take desperate action for his own hungry family.

You HAVE to sleep sometime, you HAVE to go out to tend your garden, go hunting, turn off/on or service the generator, feed and water your animals, even go to the outhouse.  Easy enough to pick you off from a distance then. The noise of a generator, a rototiller, even the sound of talking carries a long way.  Lights at night?  Like moths to a flame, here comes the 2-legged predators.  The smell of a fireplace, meat on the grill, will also bring them, human animals who want what you have, too.

I could go on and on about how relatively simple it would be to kill you and/or take away your supplies and survival cabin, but no need.  I want to tell these people in the survival group that they shouldn't look forward to the "storm" they're so sure is coming.  Like I said, it bothers me that people seem to be eagerly anticipating it.

What are you going to do if you run out of your insulin? Why, you're going to die.

You might be the lucky one.

bandersnatch

bandersnatch \BAN-der-snach\ , noun;
1. An imaginary wild animal of fierce disposition.
2. A person of uncouth or unconventional habits, attitudes, etc., especially one considered a menace, nuisance, or the like.

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Wow, by the second definition I guess I could be considered a bandersnatch.

Lady Gaga or Elton John?

Sometimes I just have to shake my head at some Facebook posts. A young friend of mine, the son of a h.s. classmate, had a post the other day: "Who is this Lady Gaga and why are so many people offended by her?"

I knew it was a loaded question, as the friend is a very talented singer who happens to be gay. (I say I know he knew who she was because she's been very vocal in her support of the LGBT - hope I did the abbreviation correctly community.) She's also commented that she considers herself to be bi-sexual. I replied that I had nothing against her, just that I thought her schtick was more about being outrageous than her talent. I mentioned Elton John as someone who was once considered outrageous for his dress (and enormous glasses!), but that his talent was so great that it overshadowed his costumes.

(I started to use Liberace as another example, but thought the gay references might be misconstrued, that I was using only gay performers to make my point. My young friend - and regular readers of this blog - know I don't have a problem with gay people. Well, except for lesbians and that's because that narrows the already narrow field - for me - of available women. -wink-)

I also thought of using - but didn't - the rock group KISS as an example of musical talent who relied upon a gimmick instead of talent. I like some KISS tunes, but never liked them well enough to purchase them.  Tell the truth; when you think of Gene Simmons, do you consider him one of the greatest bass guitar players of all-time, one of the greatest singers, or does the first thing that comes to mind is his 7-in. tongue?

Back to the Facebook post: Well, I had several people, including the friend, say they thought Lady Gaga was as talented, if not more so than Elton John. I don't normally get offended if someone doesn't like who/what I like, only if they put ME down for my preferences. Still, it was hard for me to not say "Are you out of your rabid-ass mind?"

Sure, tastes in anything, be it food, music or hobbies, are subjective and if YOU like Lady Gaga, that's fine w/ me. I gave my honest opinion about her...well, tempered a bit, because I really don't much care for her music, but there's no way that she's better than EJ and I simply can't understand that opinion. Granted, my opinion is influenced by being an Elton John fan for 40+ years, growing up with his music and owning much of it, from 8-tracks to records to mp3's. Elton John did ALL kinds of music, from rock to pop to ballads as well as wrote songs for musicals. Off the top of my head, I could name at least a half-dozen movies that used his tunes, not to mention countless TV shows. Of course, he also re-wrote one of his most famous songs "Candle in the Wind" for the funeral of Lady Diana, making it another gold record in the process.

Elton John and Bernie Taupin are, IMHO, one of the best song-writing duos of all-time, up there with Lennon/McCartney, Rodgers /Hammerstein or Burt Bacharach / Hal David. It's not just MY opinion either; Google it to see what other people think. I'm not saying a consensus of opinion is correct, only that it lends some validity to my own opinion.

When Lady Gaga has been around for nearly 50 years and has sold a QUARTER BILLION records, then we can discuss who is the better musical talent. I'll be long cold in my grave and turned to dust before Elton John is forgotten. In fact, I would bet that Elton John's music will still be being played when Lady Gaga is but a footnote in musical history.

What next? Justin Bieber is better than Elvis? Good Grief.

copacetic

copacetic \koh-puh-SET-ik\ adjective, verb;

1. Very satisfactory; fine.

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I usually (try to) make some semi-funny comment on the words I choose for these posts, but I couldn't think of anything this time. The "funny" thing about this word is how it used to be used all the time. "How are ya doin'?" "Copacetic, man, copacetic." It was in vogue when I was in college and for a few years after. Maybe it fell out of use because things really weren't so copacetic.

Shhhh! Take This Quiz!

Says I'm full of "wonder and curiosity". I've been told I'm full of it, but not that.

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You Are an Imaginative Thinker

You are a nonlinear thinker, and you're even surprised by the places your mind takes you. You love to get lost in a story, whether it's your own or not. You love fantasy. You are a positive and uplifting person. You inspire others to be better. You are full of wonder and curiosity. You feel a strong connection to the world.

The Library Test

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

The Skunk is on the Porch

I repeat: the skunk is on the porch.

Sounds like a coded radio message used prior to the D-Day landings, huh?

A few days ago I wrote about a skunk hanging around and I've since changed the outside cat's feeding procedure. I don't leave any food out for her, just enough to eat in one sitting and I pick up the foam plate after she's done. It's probably not as much food as she'd like, but I think it's more than enough to keep her alive and if she doesn't like it, she's more than welcome to go somewhere else.

I opened up the door earlier tonight to see if the Beej was ready to come in and eat something and a large bushy tail was just a foot in front of the door. As I reached down to give it a yank, I saw the female cat standing on the edge of the porch. Yup, was the skunk and I'm glad I didn't give the tail a yank. It was on the porch again later, and is currently out there as I type. I don't know what I'm gonna do about it; I have a small animal trap I used to capture the possums last summer, and I'm sure I could catch the skunk, too, but what would I do after I caught it? I *think* I could throw an old blanket over the trap to protect me from getting sprayed or to calm the animal while I picked up the cage to put in the back of my truck, but how the hell would I get the door open after going somewhere to release it?

It's that stay cat's fault, so to keep from having to put food out that will attract the skunk, she'll have to go. I hate to think of taking her to the pound, but I don't know of any other thing to do - no one is going to want a stray cat that's not been fixed or had its shots, but OTOH, if I take her to the pound, there's a near 100% chance of her getting...well, you know. I think maybe I might just have to shoot the skunk.

Maybe I could trap the skunk, then call animal control. They'd see that cat, then trap it too, or worse yet, see the Beej w/out a tag (he keeps losing them) and want to trap him, too. Like I said, looks like I'll have to shoot the skunk. Damn.

And I Thought it Was Worthless

I've checked this blog's "worth" several other times in the past, but found this new website that evaluates a site's worth: How Much is My Website Worth?

As much as I enjoy my blog - even though I'm not so good about keeping it updated - I'd sure as hell sell it for that.  I'd sell just about anything I got for 800 bucks ...except for the Beej.

The Long, Lucky Weekend

My weekend didn't start out so lucky; I deleted several off of my Facebook friends list because they had never liked anything I had posted or commented on one of my comments to their posts. I "like" a lot of my FB friend's posts if only to show them I read it and I don't know why others can't do that too. (my best online friends do it - you know who you are and I appreciate it and love you)

I then had a comment from someone I thought I had a fairly good rapport; she was a fairly recent FB friend and had left a cryptic comment saying she would comment, but that I wouldn't understand. It annoyed me because she really didn't know me. I don't mind people disagreeing with me so much, but to go to the trouble of posting and not let her opinion to be known AND letting me know she had an opinion, but that I wouldn't understand? That's OK, she's off my friends list now. Petty, I know, but I'd rather spend the time reading through "real" friends posts than someone who posts the equivalent of "I know something you don't know!" isn't worth the bother.

I was at the grocery store Saturday and as I was leaving, I stopped at the lottery machine to get a Powerball ticket. The jackpot was fairly high, the only time I play that particular game. I dug in my billfold for a couple of dollars, intending to get the multiplier option which can increase any "lesser" prize one might win, but also doubles the cost of the ticket. I was distracted for a second, looked up then without looking plugged what I thought was the first of the two dollar bills I would need to purchase the lotto ticket.

Oh no! I had put in a ten dollar bill instead! Frantically, I tried to pull it back out as the machine was sucking it into the tray, but couldn't. At first, I thought I would get a store employee to open up the machine and get my ten bucks back, but there weren't any around. Sure as shootin', if I left the machine someone else would come along and use up my $10 credit.

So, I thought I'd just use the money for my lottery ticket and get the rest in scratch-offs. I got a five dollar ticket, something I never, ever purchase, a couple of $2 tickets and a single, using up the entire ten bucks. (forgetting my lotto ticket I was intending to purchase)

I got out to my pickup and started scratching. Nothing at all on the five dollar ticket, but got five dollars on one two dollar ticket and two dollars on the other. I started scratching the one dollar ticket and found I had won on every single play on it, $20 worth! With the others, that made a total of $27 for a "profit" of 17 bucks.

I then realized I hadn't purchased my Powerball ticket, so I went to a nearby convenience store and used the two dollar ticket for a quick pick. To make a long story a little shorter, I only had the powerball in the drawing, but with the multiplier (x5)it meant I won $15! So, my ten dollar mistake turned into a nearly doubling of my money!

Then, earlier Sunday, I had an email from an address I didn't recognize. It was informing me that I had won a copy of The Perfect Scoop by David Lebovitz, considered by many to be the bible of ice cream making. I had forgotten I had entered the contest on one of the many recipe sites I subscribe to in my reader. I generally don't enter those but sure am glad I entered that one!

Thanks to the long holiday weekend, I've still got one more day and hope I am as lucky as I was the last two!

Have a good holiday everyone!

I'm a Lone Night Owl.

That would make a good nickname, I think. "Lone Night Owl"

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You Are Independent

You dance to your own drummer, and you like to live life on your own terms. You do and say whatever you feel like. People are sometimes shocked by your outrageous behavior. You have a wild and passionate side that you love to express. You have your own way of doing things. You are a bit of a loner at times. You need space to grow and become who you really are.

What Does Your Favorite Time of Day Say About You?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

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Dunno 'bout the "outrageous behavior" but the rest is right. I like the nights because they're cool and quiet.  Of course, they're really cool during the winters! 

Back when I worked on drilling rigs, I always preferred "morning tour" or graveyard shift as it's called everywhere else but the oil field.  It was always easier to find a job - because most guys didn't like working nights - and there were hardly ever any bosses or company men out there at that time.  I hate to paint and the night shift seldom had to do that, especially during winter. 

You also had the entire day "off" if you wanted to look at it that way - at least you could go to the bank, something that was hard for the day shift to do or if you worked evenings you had to get up "early" in order to do any business or laundry.  I treated the night shift just as a day shift, staying up until I got sleepy, usually around noon, then trying to get eight hours of sleep(at least, always seemed I needed a little more when working nights than I did the other shifts).

I also like mornings, as long as I'm up of my own accord for them.  Being woken by an alarm clock is nearly one of my least favorite things.

I'm Six Weeks

...and craving double chocolate chip chunky cookies.

Over the last few days, I've seen this and similar variations on several women's Facebook pages. After seeing it on several female friend's walls, I decided I'd Google it to see just what the deal was. At first, I thought it might be some sort of hint that they were pregnant, but knowing a few of the women were past childbearing age, I decided it might be a code. I was right; it's a "secret" thing women are doing to promote breast cancer awareness. Here's the code:

Your Birthday month = weeks and the actual day = candy (ie: June 1st = "I'm 8 weeks and craving skittles!")

Jan - 1week
Feb - 2weeks
March- 3weeks
April- 4weeks
May - 6weeks
June- 8weeks
July- 10weeks
August- 12weeks
September-13weeks
October -14weeks
November-16 weeks
December -18 weeks

AND IM CRAVING.
Skittles -1
Starburst -2
Kit Kat -3
M&Ms -4l
Galaxy -5
Crunchie -6
Dairy Milk - 7
Lollipop - 8
Peanut Butter cups - 9
Malt balls-10
Twizzlers -11
Bubble Gum-12
Hersey's Kisses-13
Chocolate Mints- 14
Twix -15
Reese's Fastbreaks- 16
Fudge-17
Cherry Jello - 18
Milkyway -19
Pickles -20
Creme eggs - 21
Skittles - 22
Gummy bears - 23
Gummy worms -24
Strawberry Pop Tarts - 25
Starburst -26
Mini eggs -27
Kit Kat -28
Double chocolate chip chunky cookies -29
Smarties – 30
Snickers -31

That's all fine and dandy, I suppose; breast cancer is an insidious disease that everyone SHOULD be aware of, but the question I want an answer to is this: How does posting your birthday in code make anyone aware of breast cancer? After my search, I found several forums with women gloating "Tee hee, let's make all the guys wonder what we mean!"

I've seen much dumber things posted on Facebook, but this one just seems silly to me and does absolutely no good to help a worthy cause.

Have You Been Hiding?

In my toilet?

From the spam folder:

That's why I keep some Ex-Lax handy.

September Trivia Tournament Begins!

ToTG Trivia Tournament.

The previous monthly tournament has ended and a new one starts today!

Go to ToTG Trivia Tournament and play!

The top 5 scores from last month have been recorded in the Hall of Fame

Earthball

Saw this on a website earlier and thought it a cool counter. I'm happy with my counters, so I doubt I'll add it. There are several options - background color, different globe types and java or flash variations.

---

What Sky Guy Am I?

I liked this quiz; my head's always up in the clouds.

---

Beginnings Inspire You

You are independent and original. You are highly inventive and creative. You love undertaking new and interesting projects. You have lots of ideas. You have a delightful and colorful inner world. People would be stunned if they could see inside your head. You aren't afraid of failure. Tomorrow is always another beginning.

The Sky Inspiration Test

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

This Really Stinks!

"I stink, therefore I am."

Fed the Beej earlier;  he's been eating so much lately, I opened up two pouches for him, figuring I'd mix a little hard food with what he didn't eat and give it to the cat that's adopted us.

She's a fussy little heifer, turning up her nose at the cheap hard food and leaves nearly all of it and then the ants swarm over it and making me have to throw it away.  She ate most of what I put out this time, though and to keep the ants from getting all over it I gave the remains a pitch just off the porch.  It was starting to sprinkle and I figured the rain would "melt" it.

I looked outside later to see if the Beej wanted in from the rain, but my porch light was burned out.  I grabbed a flashlight I keep handy and shined the light, looking for my cat.  I saw a bushy tail poking up from the side of the porch and thought "Well, you little *&^$%#@!  You won't eat it from the dish, but you'll scarf it up off the ground!"  I took the couple of steps over to the edge of the porch, then a movement caught my eye.  It was the other cat...hmmm, wonder wonder what cat it is eating that food on the ground?

One quick look with the beam of the flashlight told me all I needed to know.  It was a skunk and my movement towards it had made it turn backwards towards me, tail up in the air, its backside quivering, ready to fire.  I wasn't but a foot or two away from it!

I got back inside as quickly as possible.  Peeking out the door and shining the light, I saw the skunk had gone away.  Thinking that maybe I could pour some strong-scented cleaner on the ground to deter it from hanging around, I grabbed the bottle from under the sink only to find the skunk had gone back to eating.  As soon as the light hit it, it resumed its "offensive" position again.  I shooed it away several times, but it kept coming back.  I even threw an old slipper at it but that didn't keep it away for very long.  I figured I was pushing my luck, so I left it alone.

For a few seconds, I thought of getting out a .22 pistol and shooting it.  I keep bird shot in one pistol -never have used it, but I would if a dog was harassing my old cat-varmint.  It didn't take long for me to figure out that might be a bad idea, esp. if any shot ricocheted or I missed, because my truck was right behind the skunk. 

I hope it's gone by the morning;  I hate being held hostage in my own house by something smaller than a cat.   I hope B doesn't smell like a skunk in the morning or he'll have to take his meals outside.  I'll have to feed the other cat up on a lawn chair in hopes the skunk can't get up there.

Are You Dead or Alive?

Nothing too different about the contents and intent of this scam spam, I've just never seen one worded this way. The subject line was:

ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE?GET BACK ASAP

Here's the text, with the funny part emphasized:

---

INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
23 HERBERT MARCAULEY AVENUE
WUSE 2 GARKI ABUJA
FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY

Attention:

A power of attorney was forwarded to our office this morning by two gentlemen, one of them is an American national and he is MR DAVID DEANE by name while the other person is MR JACK MORGAN by name a CANADIAN national.

This gentlemen claimed to be your representative, and this power of attorney stated that you are dead, they brought an account to replace your information's in other to claim your fund of $6.5 Million Usd which it is right now lying DORMANT and UNCLAIMED, below is the new account they have submitted:

 BANK.-HSBC CANADA
 VANCOUVER CANADA
 ACCOUNT NO. 2984-0008-66
 SWIFT CODE. BOPIPHMM

Be further informed that this power of attorney also stated that you suffered and died of a throat cancer. You are therefore given 24hrs to Confirm the truth in this information, If you are still alive, You are to Contact us back immediately, Because we work 24 hrs just to ensure that we Monitor all the Activities going on in regards to the transfer of beneficiaries Inheritance and contract payment.

You are to call this office immediately for clarifications on this matter As we shall be available 24 hrs to speak with you and give you the Necessary guidelines on how to ensure that your payment is wired to you Immediately.Just also be informed that any further delay from your side could beDangerous, as we would not be held responsible of wrong payment.


Thank you.

Mr Mark Richards
International Monetary Funds Agents

---

Wonder what they would say if a dead person replied to them?

Spam, Spam, Spam

And more spam. This is my revenge, posting the email addresses of those who spam me. I don't do it every day(it's almost overwhelming), but at least once a week I've copied the email addys of the spammers to a Notepad document. I posted a few the other day, but I want to make sure the spiders/spam harvesting bots get them, so this will be a fairly regular feature. I'm going to post them in the smallest font and will "white" them out, so that's what the empty space will be. Run your cursor over them if you want to see, but to be honest, I wouldn't bother.

They mess with me, I'm gonna mess with them.

info@konstructionchiefwilliam.com,info@surgerycomputersfordummies.info,info@discountassetvaluetips.com,info@discountvaluetipsnewsletter.com,info@familywelfaregroup.com, info@twowheeldrivemanufacturers.com,info@onlinecareersolution.com, info@discountbrandvaluetips.com,info@surgerytipsfordummies.info,info@steviacookiediet.com,info@washfuelcellsforce.com

info@chautauquaworld.com, info@mobileworksuccess.com, info@storecouponvaluetips.com, info@twosteelwheeldrives.com, info@drinkmagicmagazine.com,info@swingdanceaudition.com

info@pressedactiveserverflowers.com, info@demonaspectratio.com, info@drinkmagicforum.com, info@whiteeaglesailsresort.com, info@pressedpulsingflowers.com, info@yourfastnorthwest.com, info@couponvaluepacktips.com,info@purefuelinjectionpower.com,info@sleepangelsbaseball.infoinfo@discountvaluetipscategories.com,info@couponvaluepacktips.com,info@twowheeldriveimage.com, info@drinkmagicconvention.cominfo@tospokewheeldrives.com,info@konstructionleader.com, info@konstructionkingholiday.com,info@twowheeltourdrive.com,info@careersolutionservices.com,info@steviasugarfutures.com, info@surgerycarefordummies.info.info@windsockcollectiononline.com.info@careersolutiononline.com.info@speeddemonkisser.com. info@scottishcastleruintours.com. info@drinkmagiccollection.com. info@tocolorwheeldrives.com,i nfo@konstructionmonarchmigration.com, info@pressedoscillatingflowersgifts.com, info@responseachievements.com, info@thecontemporarycircus.com, offer@wmuo333oheavy.com, invitations@logrhythmsrule.com , offer@kvlz321ofamiliar.com , Bra@fusionadvonline.com , PREMIER@logrhythmsrule.com, clientes07@itau.com.br , cobra@logrhythmsrule.com , termlife1@logrhythmsrule.com, news@nanonda.info. offer@lgqc322orelay.info, ccrkba-news@freedomdonations.com, eleonorewillodean@informaxinc.com, orethaman@j-rauto.com, netspend@logrhythmsrule.com, offer@aqkp231ogeneral.com , offer@kvlz321ofamiliar.com , Extended_Warranty@logrhythmsrule.com , orchardbank@logrhythmsrule.com, transunion@email.transunion.com , MedicalAssistant@logrhythmsrule.com, support@troutestroabovelderneselan.info, mitzijoettehs@orpheus.amdahl.com , simply@logrhythmsrule.comk scorewatch@logrhythmsrule.com, resolvesu21@yhbia.com, illusoryahz@pip.com.au, news@splence.info, notifications@creditkarma.com, offer@aqkp231ogeneral.com, Be_A_Teacher@logrhythmsrule.com, info@pressedresonantfrequencyflower.com, FreeCoffee@yippeeyearly.info, info@drinkmagicretail.com, info@sleepingangelfans.info, info@awfulmareshanties.com, mammielinette@svm.com, info@purefuelconsumptionpower.com, virendra@dontquitonlinemarketing.com, info@konstructionemperorcharles.com, info@stuntorienteddesigners.com, OGNews@rodalenews.com, westernunionresponse@westernunion.com, offer@raby131oc.com, Design@logrhythmsrule.com, offer@kvlz321ofamiliar.com, offer@hgtk312omoment.com, info@drinkmagicisland.com, Reply-yufe9y0k9lyl6kyytqngwgyhxmy7y5t0y5a2yqc@drinkmagicisland.com, Reply-5uf4h50kdk58zd55tqngwg5hq2575vt5tvy5k6@tosteelwheeldrives.com, info@coffeedrinkmagic.com, Reply-yufepy0k99yungyyjc6anuyhxmy7y5t0y5a2y8u@coffeedrinkmagic.com , news@demoluca.info, DeVry@logrhythmsrule.com, info@familyvacationfantasy.com, offer@hgtk312omoment.com, Video_Game_Degrees@logrhythmsrule.com, OverstockedAuctions@duckexpect.info, dating@logrhythmsrule.com, isjmacijipo@anloc.org, vecepia@marketinginthenewage455.com, hotlydb7@travidia.comm, lucisally@jcca.org, offer@xiqj231omumble.info, CougarDating@lookpolish.info, info@windsockkithomes.com, socialism-alerts@freedomdonations.com, info@discountvaluetipsnewsletter.com, info@lagooncustomwindowinstallers.com, offer@oyik323oemployment.com, cobra@logrhythmsrule.com, info@speeddemonkisser.com, info@toringdrives.com, Deals@logrhythmsrule.com, info@powerhousecorporate.info, info@foodfastnorthwest.com, Horoscope@logrhythmsrule.com, LibMed@logrhythmsrule.com, Invitations@logrhythmsrule.com, offer@kvlz321ofamiliar.com, info@twohoopdreamsdrives.com, info@konstructionkingdiamond.com, info@konstructionkingsong.com, info@castleruintourscathedral.com, info@steviasugarhabit.com, info@dreamvacationfantasy.com, info@surgeryfoodfordummies.info, SatelliteTVProvider@plotsynthesize.info, info@infantsleepangels.info, maricaashlie@krafteurope.com, info@discountpricetipscategories.com, autumn@libertyplusmrk.com, info@drinkmagicmailing.com, info@stuntorienteddesigners.com, info@thecontemporarycircus.com, info@circushead.com, info@discountexportvaluetips.com, Coupons@punishmentsince.info, autoprices@logrhythmsrule.com, wsamuel@mdc.edu, info@konstructionchiefjoseph.com, www@xj121.com, info@castleruinprobabilitytours.com, info@twocolorwheeldrives.com, merlynmaia@cypressconsulting.com, info@quickresponseresults.com, info@superiormanagementcompanies.com, offer@kvlz321ofamiliar.com, info@pressedvibrantflowersplants.com, offer@ardc133obusiness.info, support@info.lymb233oassistant.com, LibMed@erumoiz.com, info@beaujolaisnouveaucirque.com, info@medicaljobsolution.com, info@twohoopdrives.com

And the brown gravy, too.

I don't eat at KFC very often, but I always get the mashed potatoes as one of my sides, along w/ cole slaw. Making me hungry, think I have some coupons somewhere around here. (and as expensive as KFC has become, I need a discount)

You Are Mashed Potatoes

You like the simple things in life. You think complexity is a lot of fuss and often overrated. You take the slow and steady approach whenever possible. You never like to be in too much of a rush. You are conventional and orthodox. You are the most normal person you know. You like and prefer solitude. You are your own best friend.

What KFC Side Are You?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

---

That last part about preferring solitude is spot-on. My momma used to say I was my own best friend, and she wasn't being hard on me, either. The bit just above, though, about being conventional and orthodox and being normal is just about as far from what I am as can be. The other descriptions fit me, though.

The Quiz Cheated FOR Me

I've got a method for choosing answers on the ToTG quiz; I quickly read the question, then read the multiple choice options. There is usually one answer that doesn't belong - it's silly, or has nothing to do with the question. I then try to choose from the remaining three...I get some wrong, but the method usually works.

Of course, there are categories that suit me better than the other players and some that they know better than me. When I get Broadway musical questions, I've had pretty good luck with choosing - if they're options - either "Cats" or "Phantom of the Opera"

My next-to-the last question was one such example.  I didn't recognize the actors, so I took a guess at "Cats".  The last question was a gimme, considering that I basically had the answer given to me in the previous question.

Click for larger view

Since the previous question's options had only "Cats" in common with the last, it was a no-brainer! I aced today's quiz, thanks to a lucky guess on #9 and the similar last question.

Maybe You Won't Be Lonely

With a million spam emails to keep you busy.

I've had a GMail account for a long time, but never used the filters.  Recently I've been deluged with spam and even though I can mark it as such, it still comes in droves.  I still have to check the junk mail to make sure a legitimate email doesn't escape my attention and it takes some time to do a cursory scan of the hundreds of mails that hit the folder every day.

Now I've taken the time to set several filters with keywords in the subject line such as "sex - viagra - cialis - free- AARP - discount - drugs", etc. If you want to email me, make sure you don't put one of those words in the subject line or it will go straight to the deleted folder.

Here lately I've been getting dozens of mails every day from:

sexymilf008@gmail.com

Saying this:

"Mike I am Horny and Lonely Want to Chat"

First of all, I know these are just scams, intended to prey upon the gullible. Secondly, I can't understand why they think if one doesn't work why several hundred a week would? In the third place, if I'm horny the last thing I want to do is chat. Sheesh.

I've decided to mete out a small measure of revenge and publish the originating email addys.  I'm sure the Gmail one posted above isn't a valid one, but the ones in the headers most likely are since they point to a domain of which the sole purpose is to bilk people out of money.  So, I've decided to post the addresses in hopes that this post will be trawled by email harvesting bots - and I'm sure it will be - and that their domains are inundated with spam just like they have done to me.

Here's the first block of addresses and I will do another post when I've collected more:

info@twowheeldrivemanufacturers.com
info@onlinecareersolution.com
info@discountbrandvaluetips.com
info@surgerytipsfordummies.info
info@steviacookiediet.com
info@washfuelcellsforce.com
info@chautauquaworld.com
info@mobileworksuccess.com
info@storecouponvaluetips.com

I'm not really for the death penalty, but if I were on a jury trying these scammin' SOBs I'd sentence them to death.   I'd slice open their femoral artery and then drop 'em in a shark tank. 

Bastards.

August Trivia Tournament Begins!

     ToTG Trivia Tournament


The previous monthly tournament for ToTG Trivia Tournament has ended and a new one starts today!

The top 5 scores from last month have been recorded in the Hall of Fame.

I'm an Inert Gas

You Are Neon

You are a vibrant person who can't help but leave a mark on the world. You want to create something amazing. You know how to light up a room. You are both alluring and hypnotic. You tend to tire easily, but that doesn't stop you from overexerting yourself. When people meet you, they tend to remember you for a long time. You create a lasting impression.

What Periodic Element Are You?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

ambsace

ambsace \EYMZ-eys\ , noun;
1. The smallest amount or distance.
2. The lowest throw at dice, the double ace (two ones.)
3. Bad luck; misfortune.

---

Yet another word I didn't know, but certainly am familiar with the definition, especially #3.

Government is the problem

Not the solution.

---

"I am just absolutely convinced that the best formula for giving us peace and preserving the American way of life is freedom, limited government, and minding our own business overseas."
– Ron Paul

gazump

gazump \guh-ZUHMP\,verb:

1. To cheat (a house buyer) by raising the price, at the time a contract is to be signed, over the amount originally agreed upon.
2. To swindle or overcharge
noun:
1. The act or an instance of gazumping

---

Wasn't familiar with this word, but I certainly am familiar with the definition. I've been gazumped many, many times, but don't think I've ever gazumped anyone...not unless you count the times when I worked nights at a convenience store and would sell the old burritos and corn dogs to the drunks who came in after the bars closed.  I wouldn't even do that unless they were being asshats and rude to me.

These days I sometimes make the clerks angry when I insist upon them not doing it to me. I always tell them I don't want a corn dog that could drive a nail into an oak plank.

I had a service station when I was a kid and had a man ask me to check under the hood. He watched me like a hawk as I checked the fluids and belts.  "You act like you don't trust me." I told him.  "I don't trust any service station attendants, son." he replied.  He then went on to tell me several dirty tricks he used to do when he worked at a station; one was "short" sticking - meaning to pull the dipstick out, wipe it off, then inserting it back in the tube but not all the way to the bottom.  He'd then show it to the customer, saying the engine needed a quart of oil.  He'd go inside the station and get the can, but it would be empty. (a collection of one of each kind ready for the scam) No one would question him bringing out a can with the spigot in it. 

The man told me another "trick" would be to take a small knife or razor blade and cut partly through a belt, then warn the customer it wasn't far from breaking.

He told me several other tricks, all of which horrified me.  I'm not the most moral person, but I do know one cannot survive long in business that way; if you're discovered cheating someone, you'll lose that customer, everyone he/she tells and most likely most of the rest of your clientele once the word gets out. 

Anyway...I got through checking under the hood, topped off his gas tank, wiped his windows, etc.  He gave me a gas company credit card, but before I "swiped" it in the imprinter (remember those?) I took out the warning pamphlet the company sent out once/month - the numbers list of cards that had been cancelled or were stolen - and checked his card against them  This annoyed the man and he had the gall to ask me:

"Don't you trust me?"

It Don't Mean Jack

I haven't been doing a lot in this blog; even though my computer is near my air conditioner, the heat wave has sapped my inspiration. As a result of fewer posts, the blog has been getting fewer visitors. It usually gets an average of 75 hits per day on the counter, but this last month the number has dropped to 50. To be honest, I enjoy having the "larger" amount of visitors, but it doesn't mean anything other than a fluctuating interest in this blog...and since I don't have any paying ads, it means even less than nothing. IOW, no jack means it don't mean jack. -grin-

Clicking on the graphic a couple of days ago, I noticed a fairly significant spike in visitors over the weekend.

It was too late to see exactly what the visitors were coming to see on the other counter, but I had a suspicion. Sure enough, checking through the TV listings for last weekend, I found that Cast Away had been shown several times over a couple of days. In fact, while waiting on another movie to start, I had watched the last fifteen minutes of Cast Away and that's when I noticed something strange.

After doing a cursory search, I found that others had noticed the same thing. When Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) visits his ex-fiancee Kelly Frears (Helen Hunt)and is driving away, Hunt runs down the driveway of her house after him, yelling - what it sounds like to me and others - "Jack....JACK!"

Since the Hanks character's name is "Chuck", I guess Hunt didn't mean Jack either.

hoary

hoary \HAWR-ee\ , adjective;
1. Tedious from familiarity; stale.
2. Gray or white with age.
3. Ancient or venerable.

---

The first time I remember hearing this word was in a spelling contest in the 6th grade. We were each given a word and having to stand up and spell it. We let out a few giggles when the word was said; the teacher immediately admonished us to be mature and that the word meant nothing like it sounded and that it wasn't even spelled like that. Then the girl given the word spelled it "like that":

"W-h-o-r-e-y"

That's when our giggles turned into out-and-out laughter.

That memory never gets hoary, even though I am.

zugzwang

zugzwang \TSOOK-tsvahng\
noun:
1. A situation in which a player is limited to moves that have a damaging effect.

---

An example given was regarding chess, but it could also describe our votes for politicians. We all need to remember the lesser of two evils is still evil.

7 Harry Potter Movies In 7 Minutes

Harry Potter is Evil

The number of comments on the Harry Potter Facebook page "proves" it.

-snicker-

Fireworks: Fighting, Family, Foolish

*** A "bump" from '07 ***

---

This last 4th of July brought back some memories.

Some of my neighbors ran a firecracker stand this year and made a BUNCH of money, having to go over to Amarillo and get more stock several times. I didn't know, but bottle rockets were allowed again this year, but I believe a permanent ban is going to be applied to them and to other rockets.

When I was a kid, we used to have pop bottle rocket fights. There would be two opposing groups of boys, usually divided by age, facing off across the creek that divides the City Park in Miami. There were several methods of firing off the ammo, but the most common was to hold a pipe or glass Coke bottle, put the rocket in it, then light 'er off while aiming at the "enemy".

Another method, but not nearly as accurate, was to light the thing, wait until the fuse was nearly gone, then pitch up into the air. If the timing was right and the angle of the toss more-or-less towards the area it was intended to go, then you would sometimes get an "air burst", not dangerous, but totally spectacular and would keep your opponent's heads down while your buddies kept up the barrage.

It sometimes would, if you weren't particularly experienced with that method, come right back at you. "Friendly fire".

It's one thing to shoot bottle rockets at the other boys, but doing so while under fire from THEM... During one fireworks fight, I was looking down at the fuse of a rocket, trying to light it when someone on my team hollered "LOOK OUT MIKE!" and I glanced up just in time to see a tiny missile trailing a shower of golden sparks heading right at me.

Now, there were no "rules" that said you couldn't dodge any incoming, but the cool thing was to stand there calmly and let it zip right on by. "Courage under fire". I'd like to say that it was sheer bravado that kept me glued to the spot, but I'd be lying: I just froze.

In much less time than it took for you to read that last part of the last sentence, the bottle rocket was launched, someone hollered, and then it hit me right square in the chest. Ever had someone "frog" you in the arm or chest with their middle knuckle extended from their balled up fist? Well, that's how this rocket felt when it hit me. It hurt.

In horror I glanced down to see the rocket acting like it was on a pivot on my breastbone. The head of the rocket stayed in one spot, but the end was swivellin' around, shooting off those fiery-golden sparks. I pulled my chin up and scrunched my eyes shut just as the thing went off, feeling like someone had PUNCHED me in the chest this time.

Stunned and nearly blinded, I staggered backwards. Due to the ringing in my ears from the explosion, I could barely hear my friends asking if I was all right, but I definitely could hear the jeers of the older boys across the street. "Direct Hit!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "He's a goner!" .

This was too much; chest & pride both smarting, my shirt (and chest skin) full of burn holes, I went over to my car, opened the trunk and got out the heavy artillery: some larger 6 and 8 oz. rockets, four/five times the size of the smallish pop bottle rockets. Holding a dozen in one hand and a lit cigarette with the other, I proceed to unleash hellfire upon the upperclassmen, making them yell in protest and alarm. I kept up the broadside, grabbing up another handful of rockets, lighting one, throwing it, then lighting another and throwing it as quickly as possible. It was satisfying watching them scatter like a horde of rats leaving a sinking ship.

One of my rockets, though, went off course, flew WAY farther than it seemed possible, then exploded just under the sheriff's bedroom window, a block away. I guess he wasn't too concerned about the war going on just a few hundred yards away until the bombs were bursting in HIS air. The rest of us scattered as he angrily made his way towards the swimming pool parking lot, "our territory", clad only in his boxers, cowboy boots and official lawman's straw hat . We surrendered our lands without a fight, I guess one might say.

(hey, playing with bottle rockets is dumb, but I never said we all were STUPID)

It's probably a good thing I was never President and had access to "the button", y'know?

Another 4th comes to mind: My paternal grandparents were out at our house to celebrate the holiday. We were having a cookout, the watermelon was chilling atop the cellar roof with a garden hose running cold, deep well water over it and we were waiting for the sun to set and darkness to fall so we could set off our several sacks full of fireworks, safely nestled under a lawn chair.

This was back when my Granddad smoked cigars and he was kicked back on a lawn chair, enjoying a cigar after consuming some great bbq. The only problem was that Gramps was sitting right on top of all those fireworks. The next thing I know, there are rockets and roman candles going off, firecrackers exploding and silver stars going in every direction and I watch my grandpa running for his life, the still-lit stogie in his mouth.

It wasn't funny then, having my fireworks show ruined, but as I grow older, it's one of the funniest things I can remember from my childhood.

Some of the first money I ever earned went to buy a big sack of fireworks. The 4th that year fell right in the middle of a drought, though and the night of the holiday was very, VERY windy. My dad pleaded with me to wait a day or two until the wind calmed down, but I was adamant and wanted to set them off that night.

The entire family loaded up in Dad's work truck and we went out near one of the wells he pumped, surrounded by a freshly plowed wheat field. Dad was worried about setting the countryside on fire, but he chose the safest place to set them off, no vegetation or grass to burn.

The wind was blowing so fiercely though, that none of my rockets or other aerial fireworks went over a dozen feet in the air, the wind catching them and forcing them out into the bare dirt where they exploded with less-than-spectacular results.

That was probably one of the best life's lessons I ever learned, to have patience, esp. when it involves money and recreation. I still don't like to fish, though.

chow

chow \CHOU\ , noun;
1. Food, especially hearty dishes or a meal.
verb phrase:
1. "Chow down:" to eat; eat a meal, especially the main meal of the day.

---

I know this word. Boy, do I ever.

A Titanic Gripe

I just got through watching the last of Titanic; I didn't watch the entire thing because I was watching Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World which ended fifteen minutes before Titanic. It's a movie I've seen about the same number of times as I have Titanic although I could watch Master and Commander again sometime soon in the future, I've had just about all I want from Titanic, even though I could look at Kate Winslet a thousand hours and never grow tired of her face.


I've got a huge gripe with Titanic; two of them actually, but one is much larger than the other.  My lessor gripe first:

How did Gloria Stuart get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in the movie? Her part was tiny, even though she did the narration during the cutaways back to the salvage ship. I don't think she did all that good of a job - I felt she said her lines rather woodenly and without much believability.  Surely there was some other movie that year that had a better supporting actress nominee. Kathy Bates in her role as Molly Brown did a much better job than did Stuart in Titanic.

Which directly leads me to my main gripe: Why did Stuart's character Rose DeWitt Bukater throw the "The Heart of the Ocean" blue diamond necklace overboard? It seemed such a selfish thing to do. She could have given it to Brock Lovett, the man trying to find it (played by Bill Paxton). After all, he had invested millions in his salvage effort, spent more to bring the old bag woman out to the ship and if anyone deserved it, he did. Why didn't she give it to her daughter? The sale of the gem would be enough to pay college tuition for several generations after she passed away.

I know it's just a movie, but sometimes these things really piss me off. I had so much emotion and sympathy invested in the Rose character as an old lady only to have her do such a selfish and senseless act as throwing the priceless diamond into the sea. Even though the salvage ship was positioned directly over the Titanic, the currents probably would have carried the necklace miles away from the ship. It really is the single thing that nearly ruined the movie for me and one of the reasons I don't care to watch it again. If I had been Lovett and saw her doing it, I'd have tied a chain to her wrinkly old ass and chucked her overboard after the diamond.

For Conservatives the Word is "Hee"

haw \HAW\

verb:
1. To utter a sound representing a hesitation or pause in speech.
2. To turn or make a turn to the left.
noun:
1. A sound or pause of hesitation.
2. The fruit of the Old World hawthorn, Crataegus laevigata, or of other species of the same genus.
interjection:
1. Used as a word of command to a horse or other draft animal, usually directing it to turn to the left.

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The two-party system in this country will certainly bring about "gloom, despair and agony" on everyone.

Hee Haw

July Trivia Tournament

The previous monthly tournament for ToTG Trivia Tournament has ended and a new one starts today!

Play the quiz!

The top 5 scores from last month have been recorded in the Hall of Fame.

sirocco

sirocco \suh-ROK-oh\ , noun;
1. Any hot, oppressive wind, especially one in the warm sector of a cyclone.
2. A hot, dry, dust laden wind blowing from northern Africa and affecting parts of southern Europe.
3. A warm, sultry south or southeast wind accompanied by rain.

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So that's the name of the blast furnace-like gusts around here.

That's two weather-related words in a row that apply to the weather around here. I hope the next word is "precipitation".

torrefy

torrefy \TAWR-uh-fahy\ , verb;
1. To subject to fire or intense heat.
2. In pharmacology, to dry or parch drugs with heat.
3. To roast, as metallic ores.

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Torrefy this area any more and hell won't have nuthin' on us.

It Took ME Up & Dropped Me

You Should Take Up Photography

You are often indecisive and conflicted. You see all sides of every issue. You often prefer to observe than to take a stand. You find it more interesting to notice every detail. You need to do something to understand it. You learn best with hands-on training. You notice the little things that others just pass by. You know how to make the mundane interesting.

What Crafty Hobby Should You Take Up?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

       

Amazon Needs a Language Translator

Several times a week I get an email from Amazon with items of which they think I might be interested. I had looked at popsicle molds this last week, so that was the theme of the email - sticks in bulk, how-to books, flavors and such.

The mold I had looked at was a large one made of plastic and in one of the reviews someone had mentioned the product had BPA in it and recommended another mold made of stainless steel. I looked at that one (that's the one I would buy IF I were to buy one, I think) and then noticed one of the related items at the bottom of the page, a Dr Pepper popsicle, already made, ready to freeze then eat.

(I'd link to it, but I think the numbers and such in the URL would go to my account. Better safe than sorry) The name of the product is:

Dr Pepper "SODA POPS" Freeze & Eat Frozen Treats

I've mentioned before that sometimes the comments after an article are more interesting than is the article and the comments and reviews after Amazon products are no exception. If someone writes a comment that gushes about the product, there will always be someone who comes along and accuses the poster of working for the company. (Sometimes I wonder myself) Other times people gripe about the product not being as advertised, then someone will post a reply saying something like "It SAYS at the top the serving size is only 4 oz, you dumbass!" I've seen flame wars on Amazon rival just about any I've seen on political sites.

Under the Dr Pepper pops there was this fractured English review. If someone is spoofing, it's still funny. If not, it's hilarious.

Good thing but look like freezy turd delicious and good for babie eating for good and brittle bone i am from the ukraine sorry englais not arsome but i think all should 2 buy because for fast eating kids! Thank you for all of the shipping and fast times with no wait for delivery all the way to glorious ukraine, where sale of frozen soda in cafeteria is forbidden on penalty of goats. love the thank you sir!

On second thought, if they're like "freezy turds" then I might NOT want to purchase this item. I'm also very glad I live in a country that doesn't eat "babie" and where goats aren't penalized...or are the penalty, either way.

The mangled wording made me wonder if my favorite Russian made her way back home? I bet she's got some fast eating kids by now but hope they don't have brittle bones from eating those freezy turds.

jujitsu

jujitsu \joo-JIT-soo\ , noun;
1. The ability to accomplish a task with no apparent effort or resistance.
2. Method developed in Japan of defending oneself without the use of weapons by using the strength and weight of an adversary to disable him.

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I know jujitsu...and several other dangerous words.

My Pop

A little late for Father's Day, but it's pretty much spot-on. I had issues with my dad, but I never thought he didn't love me and always knew I was safe with him around.

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Your Dad Was the Protector

When you were growing up, your dad didn't want anything or anyone to ever hurt you. Your dad did his best to protect you, and it was hard for him to let go and watch you make mistakes. You never doubted your dad's love for you, but you often felt frustrated by his strict rules and ideas. You wish you had been given a little more freedom... it would have meant battling with him a lot less.

What Kind of Dad Did You Have?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

eisegesis

eisegesis \ahy-si-JEE-sis\ , noun;
1. An interpretation that expresses the interpreter's own ideas, bias, or the like, rather than the meaning of the text.

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Or, the content of the six o'clock news on TV or just about any newspaper article, especially those in the New York Times.