Fourth Grade Fortune

OK, I did, and I'll tell you about a little bit of it.

It was a bad year; I was rushing into puberty head-over-heels and was embarrassed by the tendrils of hair popping up under my arms and down around....well, you get the idea. I was getting hair in places that even some of the fifth graders weren't, plus my voice was cracking up and down an octave every time I got excited and tried to talk...and it didn't help being teased about it by those same underdeveloped fifth graders. The bastards.

I also remember that the fourth grade was the worst I ever did in school. Like the rest of the boys, I sat in the back row and thanks to my body changing, particularly my eyes, I couldn't see the blackboard. My folks, particularly my dad, were annoyed because I was bringing home such poor grades. The only thing I wanted to do was read books and that was because that was one of the few things I COULD do. Dad took me out in the garage and decided a good whoopin' was what I needed. At least I couldn't see the 1x4 he picked up after he told me to bend over. The ass-blistering I got didn't hurt nearly as bad as his edict that I couldn't read anything other than my text books until my grades came back up.

It was nearly the end of the school year anyway, and somehow I managed to pass. The "spanking" motivated me, for sure, but I still resent it. (he should've noticed the wrinkles around my eyes from squinting, I think) I also saved up what little money I could scrounge, bought a flashlight and read books under the covers late at night. The next year I got glasses and my grades shot back up.

Another thing I remember about that year was one of those fifth grade boys asking me a math question: "What is 8 x 8?" I came back with the correct answer "64", pleased with myself that I had passed the test...until the boy said "Nope, that's wrong!"

I just stood there staring until he waited for a few seconds and announced:

"It's 65. It's a leap year!"

I ran into the guy's mother a few years back and told her that story; she got a laugh out of it. I didn't bring up my getting hairy that year, though.

It was also the year of my first girlfriend. Reckon my entrance into puberty had anything to do with that? I'm sure my cracking voice and emerging zits didn't attract her. Maybe she noticed the hair in my armpits.