Space Sickness

Astronauts get sick so often in space that their toilets have a special setting for vomit.

What Dollar Bill Are You?

You Are a Two Dollar Bill

You are a very quirky character. In fact, you're so weird that you've got some people doubting your authenticity. You may not have a lot of money, but you certainly make up for it with creativity and downright wackiness. You are very resourceful. You're the type of person who is able to barter their way up from a penny to a million dollars. You don't need money as long as you've got your wits. For people like you, money is practically irrelevant.

What Dollar Bill Are You?

I'm glad I wasn't a Three Dollar Bill.  

Cheap Trick

This was in my spam folder earlier:

I've seen thousands of other ones just like it - as I'm sure most of you reading this have, as well.  Still, it got me to wondering;  can there really be a trick to...well, "do the trick"?

I don't know many tricks;  oh, I know a few simple card tricks, but I doubt they'd be enough to get a woman romantically interested in me.  I can juggle - just three items, but that's probably more of a skill than a trick.  I can spell "Mississippi", but that's more of an exercise in spelling than a real trick.  Wait a minute, I can wiggle my ears - a "talent", I suppose, but it COULD be classified as a trick. 

You reckon I could get a woman to sleep with me if I wiggled my ears while juggling and spelling "Mississippi"?

Probably not. -sigh-

This would normally call for a related video, but a search of this blog shows I posted it not too long ago:

I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick

Most Expensive Spice

It takes 75,000 crocus flowers to produce 1lb. of saffron - which is why it is the most expensive spice in the world.

Apache - The Shadows

Olive Tree Trivia

An olive tree can live over 2000 years.

Produce Stand Pig

Respect - Aretha Franklin

Happy Birthday to the Queen of Soul!

Booker Supercell

What Brain Quadrant Are You?

You Are the Lower Right Quadrant

You are intuitive and sensitive. You always see the emotional side of whatever is going on. You feel deeply, and you are almost always in touch with how you are feeling. You aren't afraid to express your sentiments. You enjoy connecting to people. Not only do you like helping others, but you are also able to accept help in return. You believe in community and supporting one another. You often are reaching out to those around you.

What Brain Quadrant Are You?

Hearts Marathon

Well, it took a long time, but I finally managed to complete my 1000-game Hearts marathon.  I regret I didn't note the date I started, but it was over a year ago. (I checked past Hearts posts to estimate,but couldn't find anything)

Going into the last 100 games, I had a winning percentage of 54%, but I had an extremely bad run and wound up, as you can see, at 52%. I tried to play at least one game each day but found myself playing 3-4 or even more once I reached 500 games and started wanting it to just be over.

There were times when I'd start a new game, then catch the Queen of Spades a couple of times in a row or have my quest to Shoot the Moon ruined and be so far behind, I'd just exit and give up on the game.  What was especially maddening was trying to Shoot the Moon and playing the Queen on the very last hand and have two of the other players lay down the Ace and King and spoiling my hand. 

Which leads me to the firm belief that the game "cheats".  Oh, I know it's just a program, but I do think the code for the game has the computer players "collaborating" and it seems the better I'm doing, that's when "they" do it.  As in my example above, it seems most human players would slough off their Ace and King of Spades when they could earlier in the game as so to not catch the Queen. 

Anyway...I think I'm done with Hearts for a while, but I don't think I'll delete the results and start anew.  No, I believe that when I get over my being fed-up with the game, I'll start again from where I left off, maybe extend the marathon to 2500 games!

Bet you can't wait for THAT post, huh?

3 Words

I was just about to click the link to delete all the junk in my spam folder earlier and saw this:

I know the subject line is intended to get poor, lonely and ugly slobs (like me) to open the mail and click on the links to find out the secret, the 3 words that will convince a woman to sleep with them, but even though I AM poor, lonely and an ugly slob, I'm not that stupid.

At least not most of the time.

Still, it got me to wondering;  are there really "3 words" to get her into the mood?  I sat here and thought about it, wondering how I could turn this into something funny.  Could the three words be:

"Yes, I'm rich." or
"That's my Ferrari." or
"Have another drink."

Since I've never had a lot of money or didn't care to pick up women at bars or parties, those never were options for me.  Not that I'm any sort of expert, but I think there are other 3-words that are better to use in certain situations, such as:

"Hold my hand." or
"You look lovely." or the ultimate 3 words:
"I love you."

Of course, all those 3-words are to be used for women I care about and that's the first requirement - caring about them- before I want them to want me.

End of story.

Good Time Charlie's Got The Blues - Danny O'Keefe

The Fresh Prince of C-SPAN

Hilarious!

Come And Get Your Love - Redbone

The Number Four

  is the only number that has the same amount of letters as its actual value.

The Fidget Diet

People who fidget burn an extra 350 calories a day.  This could work off 10 to 30 pounds a year.

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Me?  I've never been one to fidget much.  Sometimes when I'm sitting in one place for very long, they'll be buzzards circling overhead.

Rubberband Man - The Spinners

I just noticed that on the Today in History module on the right-hand column that the rubber band was patented by Stephen Perry in England on March 17, 1845. That calls for this old tune:

Bar Mitzvah Buzz

From the archives: 

Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going.

"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey." 



"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit."

"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.

A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"

"Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be."

"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.

"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a WASP."

anatidaephobia

Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world there is a duck watching you.

Go All the Way - The Raspberries

Note:  saw the original video (posted here on 11/5/08) had been taken down, so I'm putting this one in its place. 

This was a fairly controversial tune when it was released. From Wiki:  Because of its sexually suggestive lyrics, considered risqué for the day, the song was banned by the BBC. (as well as by some radio stations in the U.S., as I recall) The repeat of the words "come on", in the bridge or middle section, is loosely based on the "come on"s that The Beatles did in "Please Please Me" (another sexually suggestive song).

Giraffe Cam

One of my favorite webcams and I try to visit at least every few days.  This cam is of the Masai Giraffe Exhibit at the Greenville, SC zoo where you can watch the mom, Autumn, and dad, Walter and their son Kiko.  If the giraffes aren't in their stalls, then they're most likely out in the paddock, which also has a cam (link at bottom of page) and they also have an archived video of giraffe births on YouTube. 

Giraffe Cam

BTW, I'm a giraffe.

What's Your Courage Word?

Your Courage Word is "Dream"

Like everyone else, you are afraid of failure - but not so afraid that you can't dream big. You envision how you would like your life to be. And then you're willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Even in your bleakest moments, you've been able to picture how things can get better. And you hold on to that. You won't let anyone tell you that your dreams aren't possible. You have seen amazing things happen in your life.

What's Your Courage Word?

BookBub

From the website:

How it works

BookBub alerts you to limited-time free and discounted ebooks matching your interests. It's free to join, you can read on any device, and the books are yours to own.

Tell us what you like to read
Get the daily email and browse your deals
Download to any device and enjoy


BookBub

triskaidekaphobia

Bump from 6/13. See following comment.

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Another bump from 2010. Hope it's not unlucky to bring up old posts.

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Another "bump" from a year ago.

At least I'm topical in my reruns.

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triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\ , noun:
1. Fear or a phobia concerning the number 13.

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No pithy comment (not that my comments on these words are really ever pithy) on today's word, but it reminded me of a post about Friday the 13th.

It's not pithy, either. Like I said, I don't write much of anything that's pithy.

That might be because I'm constantly pithed off.

Totally TV Troubles

I clicked a link in my bookmarks for Couch Tuner, but got this instead:

I know what a 404 Page is and what it means, but thanks for telling me I was totally in the wrong place and that it's been moved.  Still, it seems like "probably" isn't the right word, huh?

Hell Ain't a Bad Place To Be - AC/DC

I Used to Think

Sharks were scary.

Not now, at least not as much as these animals.

Strong Bones

A block of bone the size of a matchbox can support 9 tons of weight. (18,000lbs.)  That's 4 times as much as concrete can support.

Airbag Comparison Crash Test

Barbie

Barbie's life-size measurements would be 39-23-33, she would stand 7'2" tall with a neck twice the length of a normal human.

Hair Raising Trivia

In the 1700s, barbers not only gave haircuts and shaves, they also pulled teeth, performed minor surgery and did bloodletting.

From Wikipedia : The origin of the red and white barber pole (often red, white and blue in the U.S.) is associated with the service of bloodletting and was historically a representation of bloody bandages wrapped around a pole. The original pole had a brass wash basin at the top (representing the vessel in which leeches were kept) and bottom (representing the basin that received the blood). The pole itself represents the staff that the patient gripped during the procedure to encourage blood flow.

Micro-Pigs

Micro-piglets eating an apple.

The regular sized pigs look especially good with an apple in their mouths, too...after a long, slow roasting.

Wrong Place, Wrong Shirt

First, let me say I usually like to post the link where I found a particular 404 page, but even though I just found this one a couple of days ago, I've already forgotten where it was and I didn't save the URL.  So, I went to TinEye, the image search service, uploaded the image and found 85 matches.  Apparently it's used all over the 'net and not just on the site where I found it. (whatever that was)  I saw it was also used in a progressive political site to disparage "tea baggers".

("tea baggers", the progressive pejorative used for conservatives, not just the ones who adhere to the TEA (Taxed Enough Already) Party "platform", which is basically lower taxes and smaller govt.  You can count me in as a "tea bagger" then, even though the term first came into being as a homosexual sexual practice.  I'd much rather be gay than a progressive, anyway. It's obvious that progressive political site is run by and frequented by ugly, bitter, man-hating lesbians)

Anyway, I thought this one was clever. (click graphic for larger view)

Yep, I'd say the guy is definitely in the wrong place.  With - or without-  a shirt like that, I'd rather be in Hawaii.

Peeback Time for the Germans

Subtitles are available (use the CC button), but they're not strictly necessary; the message and method are both fairly easy to comprehend.

Happy Gilmore Revisited

Happy Gilmore stars Adam Sandler and Bob Barker come together for a good cause. But their relationship is complicated.

From the upcoming Night of Too Many Stars which airs Sunday March 8 at 8/7c on Comedy Central.

But, I HATE to Paint!

You Should Be a Painter

You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas. And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Me, even tempered? 

Yeah, right.  I'm not only NOT even tempered, I don't have a lick of talent, at least in the artistic department.   I don't even like painting rooms in a house, but something like a fence is fine because I don't have to worry so much about paint splatters.

The best way to paint I've ever seen was when I was roughnecking and we painted our big fresh water tank;  someone would climb on top with a five gallon bucket of paint and walk backwards, pouring out the paint as he went.  As the paint ran down the sides, all the hands would take long handled scrub brushes and smear it all over.  The job was done in less than ten minutes and didn't even look all that bad...it was going to get scratched up in the next rig move anyway.

Hell's Bells - AC/DC

If you think this song is evil, or simply don't like AC/DC, then just go ahead and play the gong part on your own.

Cleopatra's Lipstick Bugged Her

Cleopatra made her lipstick from crushed beetles, giving it a red pigment and used ground-up ants for the base.

I wonder if the royal dishwasher had problems scrubbing it off the cups?

Jerry, Pay the Man!

Let's get a deal done, Mr. Jones...take off the tag and pay the man.  I know you have to watch the cap, but how often does a talent like this come along?

He needs to be a Cowboy for life.

Seeing Red

The color red does not make bulls go crazy; bulls are color blind. The bull is likely irritated not by the color, but by the cape's movement as the matador whips it around.

I am not an expert on color, but the recent Internet fixation on the color of "the dress" is making me angry as a bull. (If you're not aware of it, good for you, but if you'd like to know, just Google "the dress" and you'll find out.  It's received much more attention than Monica's blue dress. (and you'll need to Google THAT, too, because I'm sure not gonna link to any stories about it.)

It's Vivaldi's Birthday!

In honor of Antonio Vivaldi and his birthday, here's the concerto Spring from his composition The Four Seasons, performed by Julia Fischer accompanied by the Academy of St Martin in the Fields at the National Botanic Garden of Wales. This post is not only to celebrate what is unarguably Vivaldi's best-know composition, but also wishful thinking on my part...seeing as how it's still winter, but that I'm desperately looking forward to springtime.

Why English is Such a Difficult Language

From the archives:

1.) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write  - but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

You Can't Skip

You can't skip this Geico ad, although it's well worth watching to the end.

Crunch Time

In the early days of movie theaters, popcorn was banned because it was too noisy.

Same Time Next Year

No, not the movie, but next year's February will fall in a Leap Year and will have 29 days.  So, today next year will be what is March 1st this year and last year (this year) it wasn't even there!

I've known two people who were born on the extra day in Leap Year; one was a daughter of a girlfriend who was nine at the time (the daughter, not my g/f, for cryin' out loud!) but would tell people she was only two.  I know she meant to be cute and I'm sure her mother thought so as well, but it made people think she was a little less than average intelligence...until she explained.  The "joke" got old with me, but I guess she felt as though it made her unique.  I dunno;  I was born the same day as JFK and I never dated anyone as hot as Marilyn Monroe, so.... 

The other person was an old man, the grandfather of a classmate;  he lived into his 90's and I remember his family throwing him a "30th" birthday party.  I guess they saved on candles, though.